On the first day of the Sharath workshop we had to travel by car to arrive in good time...it being Sunday and trains not running as early as weekdays. It turned out we took a few wrong turnings (oops!) and we were held up at a motorcycle accident on the way. So, in the end, we arrived just on time...we arrived. I suppose I've seen car accidents from a distance before but for the first time I saw somebody who had somehow fallen from their motorbike and was now laying in the middle of the road as we drove painfully right past. Paramedics and the police surrounded the scene and we could only hope that the person was okay.
Then last week, walking down a busy road, my friend and I heard such an incredible and intrusive THUMP. We darted around to see that a car had just hit a man on his bicycle. The first thing that I saw was the bike in the road. I just knew what had happened. In that moment everything just seemed to stop and all I could say was, "Oh, God." We had just crossed the same road where the man had been hit and now he was on top of the shattered windscreen of the car. A police car must not have been far behind as it was seconds before they came. There was nothing we or anybody else could do. The man seemed to be moving at least.
Finally, have you seen the film One Day? I don't want to ruin the plot for people who've not seen the movie or read the novel but let's say that I was shocked by the storyline. It left me feeling quite sad actually. It left me feeling like we waste SO much time living badly (or not really living at all!) and we waste so much energy in disputes, worrying, being afraid, not saying how we truly feel, etc.
Out and about in the hustle and bustle of the city there are so many people, so many cars, trains, tubes, bikes, planes... There ARE accidents. Sometimes we collide, people are injured and killed. Sometimes technology fails us and something goes wrong and there is a disaster. Worse, sometimes fellow humans INTEND there to be disaster to destroy and disrupt us. Sometimes, it's no ones fault. And sometimes, it's no ones fault but our own. I've lost count of the number of times I've heard the announcement of a train disruption as being the fault of somebody UNDER the train or ON the line.
When I was 21 years old, I lost a close friend. She died after being hit by a taxi. I wasn't there at the time but some other friends were. I remember the phone call to tell me she was in intensive care and that it didn't look good. I just knew that there must have been something seriously wrong when I saw the missed call from this particular friend. I rang back straight away, walking home after my yoga class. I was numb, I didn't know what I felt. I remained numb until I saw her coffin at the funeral and I broke down in uncontrollable tears. Suddenly, it hit me what had happened. She had gone and wouldn't live anymore. Whilst my friends and I graduated, got jobs, lived our lives, she would not. Her life was frozen at 20. She wouldn't even turn 21. Two months later and my uncle died and at his funeral I had a similar emotional experience. I was a wreck, my heart still grieving my friend. I couldn't cope with another loss. Another shake from Death. Then in the following years there have been more. Each time, I seem to turn away. I know I shouldn't. It's part of life. Life equals Death. We are helpless. We are at the mercy of something greater -call that whatever. We are powerless. We don't have control of the joystick.
It reminds me to be even more grateful. Every siren, every bit of news, every story of loss are all reminders to be glad to be alive and healthy. Glad to have more chances. Glad to have opportunity. Glad to have the people I love in my life and glad that I am here to love them back.
In this way, Death teaches us. I'm glad of that too.
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