Friday 20 April 2012

Fuck Yoga!

Believe me, I've questioned it many many times. Like, why bother? To list a few of the 'negatives' of Mysore-style Ashtanga yoga; early mornings, achey body, injury, tiredness, unleashed emotion(!)... Loss of your social life(!!) loss of friends(!!) loss of who you once were(?!!) ...

Returning to practice after being in bed with tonsillitis made me think about my motivation to get up and go to yoga six mornings a week...
  1. It's a time that I devote to something greater than myself. I have a spiritual practice, more than just an asana practice.  
  2. There's a whole bunch of people that I practice with whom I cherish. Great, fun, intelligent and inspiring people. I'm blessed to know them.
  3. It makes my body more healthy. I believe I'm doing something good for myself and if I feel better, I'm more likely to be a more valuable asset to others.
  4. It focusses my mind. It really does.
  5. I have faith in this practice. 
I guess, you've got to have faith. Blind faith really. You can read/listen to other peoples' experiences but in the end, you have to believe in it yourself.

Saturday 14 April 2012

List of Joy


  • watching people smiling alone in public...either looking at their mobile phones or just listening to their thoughts. Even better, seeing people laughing to themselves
  • a really great film or TV show that makes me think/question out of my experience/connects to my experience
  • content sleeping babies
  • finding new AMAZING music -voices, lyrics...beats!
  • my boyfriend - you make me forget myself  and all the other lovely friends and family I'm blessed to know
  • DANCING
  • writing when the words just flow tap tap tap
  • blue skies and bluebells in April
  • Buster and Poppy and all my animal companions
  • singing ...and being told I can hold a note ;)
  • feeling the warmth of sunlight on my face
  • crunchy juicy apples
  • giggling so much it hurts
  • broad northern accents 
  • lists
  • looking back at all the moments/places/times I've felt such pure joy and looking forward to more of those

Saturday 7 April 2012

Downward dog in Paris

I really don't know where to start this post... I guess, by saying (admitting) that practicing in Paris was really challenging for me... on both a physical and emotional level.

So to give a little background, I've got a sore shoulder and hamstring which meant I'd not done my full practice for a couple of weeks before practicing in Paris. The hamstring issue is reoccurring but my painful shoulder is a new injury. I've been working on strength, maybe I over-did it? Or maybe it's just a culmination of shoulder stress and finally when it did go crack enough was enough and I was forced to slow down. Who knows...

The teacher in Paris identified that I needed to work on strength in practice and that my flexibility was actually a hindrance and that by practicing the way I do, I'm damaging myself. She told me that if she was my teacher she would have me only practice primary and make that solid before learning any second. She also said that after a year and a half of daily practice it was WAY too soon to learn second. She said she could see I wasn't engaging bandhas which acted as the brakes to protect myself from going too far in postures. She came from the prospective of staying safe in asana rather than experiencing uncomfortable places.

She told me my Chaturanga looked like an insect.

I'll leave it there, you get the impression, I hope. My practice was dissected. My attachment to my practice too.

So now I'm confused. I guess I'll talk to my teacher and gather her opinion.

All really hard shit to hear. But maybe someone had to say it...