Since saying I've resigned from my job, I've had two contradicting responses. One which is of JOY and one which is of FEAR.
Funny, both can be experienced doing yoga. I mainly fall on the joy side... but occasionally, I can get afraid too. Sometimes, I still mess up and end up on the floor laughing at myself. Totally true in life also, I can do some dumb things. I think everyone probably can.
Mostly, I am excited to have quit teaching...well, my permanent position. It frees me up to do other stuff! It makes me think about the next step. It makes me go forwards. It makes me want to do/plan everything whilst I'm young and pretty carefree. It makes me think outside the lines...
Currently, I think my integrity is being tested. How much do I want this big change? How strong am I? Even the scared/worried faces...what about the economy?! The are you mad looks?! Isn't this what you trained for?
I suppose most people are money/security minded...and why would anyone want to give that up?
I suppose I just have to stick to my guns. Have faith. Inhale grooviness and exhale all the shitty fear.
I don't have any answers. Just questions for myself. I have lots of ideas floating around and not so much time to invest in them...yet.
In approximately 5 weeks I'll be a free agent. Then it's Vipassana Time.
Do you feel lighter inside for having put pen to paper and resigned?
ReplyDeleteSecurity is hard to give up, when replaced by the fear of the unknown, I hope your plans work out.
Hey Kevin. Yes, I got a letter confirming my resignation this week - that really brought it home! Before then I still felt like I could change my mind at any moment.
ReplyDeleteBut honestly, LIFE is unknown. You have to try your best to let go, try to stop grasping and controlling and just let it be whatever it will be. Do what makes you happy and I'm sure life will serve you well.
I don't have any plans!