Saturday 21 August 2010

Bikram Break-Up, Breakout and Blues

My 'bites' are now just spots..lovely! My skin is rudely rebelling against me and I've morphed into a 17 year old girl again. Come to think of it, I am still that girl in more ways.. but not completely. I certainly would not have had the courage to stand in (teeny) shorts and sports bra and POUR sweat for an hour and a half IN FRONT OF A MIRROR AND A ROOM FULL OF (beautiful) PEOPLE when I was 17. I think I've expressed before that this has been the big challenge for me with regards to Bikram..as well as withstanding the heat and restraining my ego to not over-stretch! Looking at my reflection today, I felt a sense of achievement and acceptance. I suppose in my Ashtanga practice although rolls of fat might be staring me in the face in asanas such as Pindasana, there's not a constant visual reminder of every extra fold. My motivation to lose those is binding now not aesthetics.

Only 5 more days before my Bikram pass will expire anyway. Bye-bye Bikram..but i'll probably be back for more(!).

And.

Blues.

I still feel really quite flat. I don't know what's wrong with me. Yesterday, I was absolutely overcome with anger and infuriated with a receptionist who IMO insulted my intelligence! Completely irrational behaviour.

Today, I just feel flat..and I'm missing my Mum and Dad! There is that 17 year old seeping through again.

I suppose I just need to be living for something else (deep); a goal OR for other people..so I'm sure i'll be cured when I'm back at school.

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