Navel Gazing

I think I have started a post about three times this week, well, three times since the last one! I'm losing all track of time thanks to having so much of it on my hands. I *think* and the people around me *know* that I've been going a bit stir crazy 'navel gazing' (as Mel put it). YES. I am looking forward to starting work again..YES, I want long full(filling) days that wear me out and YES, I want to think about more than myself (and yoga!).

Let's put all this into perspective Jen (talking to myself YES):

You're living in London and you have amazing, wonderful, FABULOUS and inspiring AND supportive friends (all over the globe might I add), you have a job you love doing and in an area you want to make a difference in, you're young, you're FREE and yes, yes, you're single but you're only just brushing 25 (it's allowed!).

So, YES, you see you *should* be well chuffed love.

I am.

But i struggle because I'm one of those really annoying, irritating people (just like my mother) who's never happy..or rarely look like that they are (truly). I'm constantly striving. Constantly looking forward wanting MORE MORE MORE. If i'm honest. If I don't lie to myself and that was going to be the subject of another post..the self-betrayal, I am this kind of person. I want progression. Always. I can't bear to stand still. Even in my practice, I've noticed that I often don't finish an exhale before I'm bounding into the next asana. "Slow down Jenny!!" I can hear my Dad exclaim.

And breathe.

I can hear my Mum and Dad say a lot of things that I used to dispute and now. Now. They ring true.

A friend sent me this quote: “The greatest magnifying glasses in the world are a man's own eyes when they look upon his own person.”

This time I've had to look upon myself has been both wondrous and grueling.

It's clarified a few things for sure.