Let me recap before I begin. Last week, I was poorly. Energy ZAPPED, so weak, so DONE. A few days recuperation (and retreat from the world) cured that.
Yoga first. Practice last Sunday was incredibly exhilarating. Something shifted in my body, something IS shifting and I'm reaching new levels of deepness in postures and suddenly things are clicking into place. I am strong. You know those *special* days when you're the only person in the room and it's just you and your body? Nothing else exists.
By the time I got to Supta Kurmasana, I was dripping with sweat. Like, literally I was pouring sweat into the floor in front of me...and I *knew* that it was going to be the day I finally managed to bind my hands and feet in this pose. And finally, finally, it clicked. My shoulder clicked too. Exhilaration. Joy. I did it. Pressed into the floor, bound up. I LOVE this posture.
I think for me and for others I've discussed Supta Kurmasana with (Mel), this pose is so humbling. I also had to let go of a lot of fear. I have a slightly irrational fear that I'm going to break my shoulders but I *know* it's just a case of my body becoming accustomed. I suppose, my body and my mind actually.
Following practice, I had a lovely yogi breakfast and then toddled off to meet a friend. It was a beautiful day, crisp clear skies but sooo cold. God had just turned winter on. Hours later, I was having the most amazing (exhilarating) time with my friend and his friend (who I instantly adored too) when I realized my bag had been nicked from the chair i'd put it on in the bar we were drinking in. Exhilaration turned to fury...turned to despair. I couldn't stop myself from swearing. My mum threatened to hang up the phone, I was swearing so much. I was furious. Then the tears came. I struggle to cry. I can feel hurt, upset, angry and still, not cry. Then, something, something *clicks* and I can't stop the tears from rolling.
Thankfully, I stayed with my friend that evening (keys stolen). I was up early enough to pit-stop at the shala to sit for 15 minutes before going straight to school. I had called my colleague who brought me a change of clothes. I am so blessed.
In a way, it was liberating to lose my bag. To lose the things I *need*.
I am pissed off about losing my camera though. Bastards. Ipod and Oyster (travel) card too.
In a way, it's funny that the day I got the bind, I lost my stuff. Most humbling. It's funny I ended up in tears too after wanting to on my mat.
My body has been a little bit broken since Sunday. Nothing really to write home about but my shoulders have been sore and hamstrings have been niggling. Deep Heat is a dear friend. I've done a full 6 day week as well.. I was going to practice today but I couldn't muster the motivation this morning to do it. Plus, I think I need to rest. No, I know. And I wanted to blog. Writing this stuff down is therapeutic.
I have a weekend IN ahead. My classroom practice has faced external moderation this week and I want a weekend where I can do school work, buy things for my classroom and rest up. Hopefully, shift a lingering cold too.
It's funny though, I long for excitement. More. Ha!
Oooh, and my bag was retrieved. A lovely couple found it thrown over their garden wall and managed to contact me from cards I kept in my purse. Yes, yes, I am one lucky girl.
Ahhh, humbling - yes. And now you love it instead of fear it, that's a huge change! The fear that you're going to break your shoulders (or have them broken for you!) is only natural I think, I had exactly the same concern (and look - no broken shoulders...yet!) but once you are more comfortably being bound up that worry should start to recede. Good that you rested today and it's funny how the stuff that happens on the mat and in the outside world can be so different...but it's all a practice and all a lesson, right? And tears are good :)
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