Backwards and Forwards

Sometimes in life, I think you have to go backwards to go forwards. And sometimes, you have to go away to appreciate what you have when you come back.

My body is aching. I've had a short stint in Ibiza. It turned out to be a short stint away from my life and also practice. I had ALL good intentions to practice but in the end, I was caught up in rhythm of Ibiza vibes. I danced. I laughed. I drank (a little). I slept (TOO little).

All that after my Vipassana course...I feel like I need to do it again! Ibiza sucked some energy and I don't feel like I'm tingling all over on a natural high anymore that's for sure. I do feel the pressure of needing to sort my work situation out...at least, be earning money until I figure out something more long-term, if that day ever comes. I do feel FEAR and ever so slightly out of breath. I do feel like my body has metamorphosed into a baby elephant on her yoga mat! By that I mean, my practice is producing more unpleasurable sensations rather than pleasurable... It's that CHANGE thing again innit. Also, there's a lesson in not practicing when I should be...

So, back to life. Back to practice. Back to the drawing board with applications etc. Searching the internet and my mind(!).

I'm home. Back in London. Back riding the streets on my beloved Roma. Back to where I was before. I think I might love this. Even if sometimes it hurts. I'm finding pleasure in my pain. It makes sense to do that.