Saturday 26 March 2011

Verisimilitude

I'm in such a strange mental place at the minute. Not sure what I want or the next direction my life is going to take. I wish I could just do nothing more - dolce far niente.

I've been immersed in this silence. In fact, not complete silence as my sinuses are still not completely back to health and my head feels immersed under water. I've been sleeping a lot. So much. I've had some very morbid thoughts. Umm, maybe I'm a bit depressed? All the signs point to it... Maybe I'm just content and creating this drama. Life is pretty fine and dandy... There's things I wish would be different of course. People I wish would miss me more...ooh it's easy to direct my sadness onto them, ey?

Career wise I'm unsure and yet I'm in a position of power. I have a permanent contract and I'm very happy at my school. I do the best I can within my circumstances. But am I content with everything I'm doing? I just don't know...

I hope to find some answers soon.

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