Solitary Practice

I'm never afraid of being on my own. Rejection, yes. Being alone, no. This weekend I've come to Manchester alone. Alone and yet surrounded. Surrounded by love - old, dear friends, common ground, connection, the thick broad accents of the north and the slower pace of the streets. I've felt on holiday. Blissed out.

I'm sat watching this room dance as people politely eat breakfast and I observe. I observe as usual. I listen and learn.

I wonder what am I gona do next. What are gona be my next steps. Today and for the future. Part of me wants to up and leave -the country. New York perhaps. But then a part of me knows there's much more of London to embrace.

I know yoga has to be accounted for regardless. More time, more energy, more dedication to practice. It's weekend's like this on the New Moon when I can fully appreciate my practice. My life and all the major lessons I've learned -non-attachment, letting go, giving, honesty, respect, sitting, being still and BREATHING because everything passes like a breeze and you ARE alone but also totally and fundamentally the same as everyone else. Yoga and life IS a solitary practice. I realize that I don't need to be IN love, I don't even need to FEEL loved for as cliche as it sounds, I am love. Just as I write that a lady passes me and smiles.

I eat my muffin, sip my coffee and write. I channel my thoughts onto the pages of the waiter's pad. There is such a glorious mix of people in the room. Some Rastafarian-looking men (perhaps Reggae singers?), middle class families with objecting offspring, gay couples (if my rather lacking gaydar is correct!), Americans taking "muffins to go." And there's me. Surrounded by food. Picking at it all -saying a prayer my stomach can take it, this mid-morning assault of carbohydrate! But I feel like I'm sharing it with my waitress (Lianna), she and her colleagues are so attentive and sweet. I wonder how many 'alone girls' they get scribbling on waiter's pads stuffing their made-up faces?!

More juice.

The room suddenly goes quiet. Wow, I love it when that happens. The whole room just enjoyed a pause. And perhaps that's where I'll pause. Man, I am so full.