Mindless

I ACTUALLY wanted to scream "Fuuuuuuuuuuck!!" on my mat this morning. Frustration rrrrrrrooooar! It's hard when you want something so much and then things don't go to plan huh? On my first drop back attempt, I plummeted my head back and just touched the floor with it. I rocked to come up and nothing. I went back down... It was one of those mental moments, I huffed and I puffed and lay in balasana. You CAN do this I thought over and over.

The next THREE were good. All thanks to the new cover teacher (lovely Mel Cooper) at our shala who's taught me how to connect with my strength in back bends. She totally gets my body. I'm all flexibility and I need to engage more muscular/bandha control. Going down she's taught me to keep my chest lifted and legs straight for as long as possible and suddenly I've found my legs to come up, not my back (which I think i was using before). They feel totally grounded too...no running forward!

YAY MEL :)

Then today I was trying to explain to my colleague about how in the moment of dropping back and coming back up my mind just empties. It feels like such sweet relief. The rest of my practice, my mind can wander and I can keep trying to bring it back to my breath of course but in the moments of extreme concentration such as this there's only a body, sweating, breathing.

Now to relax into them...