Setting aside my marigolds...

I was warned that MOST people who start second series give up their jobs...and what do you know, this week I handed in my resignation. How can I explain this seemingly crazy decision? My yoga teacher gave me the best possible simile, "It's like trying to clean a house that's too dirty." I'm scrubbing away but the more I scrub, the more people keep coming in with their dirty feet. It's gotten to the point where I've given up wanting to clean anymore and that's when I have to leave.

Slightly worryingly perhaps, I'm not sure I want to continue in any educational environment. I don't want to spend my days disciplining children and I'm not sure the high energy setting is good for me. More and more, I prefer quiet places. Places where people are calm and the pace of life is slower. Maybe I need to move out of London! Maybe I need to work for myself. But doing what? Hilariously, I've no concrete plans... not that there is ever such a thing as a concrete plan.

I know this:

I need inspiration.
I need to feel motivated.
I need to feel work provides joy.
I need to learn.

I've never continued with anything I thought had had it's time. I've never been one to settle for second best. I have always be one to aspire. To keep looking forward. To keep looking at the sun. To keep dreaming.

I used to be afraid. I used to not say it, hold back, don't do it, don't risk it.

Now, I've let go of the fear. Life is too short to hold back. I'm saying yes. I'm trying at everything. I'm being powerful and using my strength. I'm making (intelligent) choices. I'm being self-sufficient. I'm saying it if I want to. The gloves are off.