Lots going on recently. Maybe I should have been sitting a bit more. The impromptu ones are better than regular slots I find, otherwise I get stressed about making time to sit and really it shouldn't CAUSE (more) stress.
In practice this week my body's felt super slugglish, heavy and stiff. WAH...not moaning, just an observation. I've been eating tonnes too...which could be related to anxiety levels but I reckon, also to changes in my body. Though, I must admit I've been a little bit lazy of late...defo not giving that extra 2% effort everyday (as Kino I recall advising). To be honest, having numerous different teachers the past couple of months has been interesting and fun but I'm really looking forward to having my regular teacher back. She knows me, she knows my body and she's my teacher. And she won't let me slack.
I have been through this whole questioning process of asana too. Just feeling like none of it really matters...yarr, it can feel good, look amazing, leave you with an increased sense of awareness/of being but I just felt like it was all a means to an end. Bodily play. Quite depressive and negative. Maybe I was losing faith in the discipline? The 4.28am get ups are hardcore but you get used to them and then I suppose there is undoubtedly going to be a point when you reassess and ask yourself WHY you're doing this again? How does this practice help my life? No need to answer that. I feel like everything I've experienced and learned so far has been leading to this point where I take action and silence my fear.
I will never stop learning. Everyday, every second, every moment is a chance to learn something new.
Oooh and PS. My favourite posture at the minute
(not me ;) )
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